As I mentioned in a previous blog, getting friend requests from complete strangers on Facebook is slightly strange to me. I joined Facebook last December. A while ago on Facebook, I got a friend request from a woman I did not know; I'd guess age 25-30. Our only mutual friend was one of my sisters. I didn't know the woman and I don't add for the sake of adding on my personal profile (I have a public photography page where I love to have new people join me as well as Twitter) so I ignored the request. However, three days later, the same woman sent me another friend request. That seemed a little weird and I ignored that request as well.  

Later when I spoke to my sister, she told me that this woman emailed her and asked her why I would not add her to my friends list. My sister vaguely knew the woman in the past. At first I laughed because I was certain that my sister was joking. She wasn't. I wondered if someone could view not getting a Facebook friend request approved as a major rejection, one that warrants a follow up email. I did not feel that I did anything wrong, especially since I did not know this woman, so there should be no emotional investment involved on her part in regards to whether I add her or not.

A few other weird "friend" adding situations:

• Two men sent friend requests not two times as mentioned above but 4 times each.

• A photographer sent me an invite to his page 6 times. I only left the page since I saw his work via his other pages, so I had exposure to the work already. As a photographer, I would not expect or require that someone be apart of all of my social media spaces, but I am grateful whenever they are interested in 1 or 2 of them.

• Many strangers with no avatar send requests. I wonder if they are similar to the spammers on Twitter with the standard avatar that has now changed from brown to a variety of colours. I think that is what this one is.

• A few months ago, another woman emailed me and asked why I removed her from my friends list. I advised her that I never did remove her as she was never on my list to begin with. She repeatedly emailed me asking to be friends and also sent a friend request twice. I was in a group that she was in for only 2 days, but the group seemed to be more concerned with fetish behavior that I do not like, instead of admiring shoes. (I like nice shoes). I left the group after 2 days and despite the group having over 1000 members, she noticed that right away. After the chain of emails and a few laughs from my friends on Facebook via a long comment thread, I finally replied to her demand emails for friendship with one word, "Why?" She immediately retreated and said that she was sorry to have bothered me--this after 3 solid days of consistent harassment from a complete stranger. The power of the word "why" is interesting. I've watched whole situations change in the past due to that single word.

• As mentioned in a previous blog, several people who dislike me have sent me multiple requests, tried to follow me on Twitter, contacted my other friends online, and become mutual friends with other people on my list to follow my comments. 

I've had other weird ones that are not included in the list above. However, the one I speak of in this blog bothered me the most. It just seems sad that an adult woman would send a request twice to someone she does not know, and then demand an explanation from my sister as to why I did not add her. The other situations I listed above seem to be people being silly for the most part, although there may be other issues involved as to why they behaved this way. 

A friend jokingly asked me if social media drives people crazy and is making people behave this way or were they already like this and now have multiple outlets to express it? I guess we'll never really know, but I won't blame social media for this. Social media networks are great for many things, from conducting business, getting reacquainted with people from the past and staying in touch with family and friends, to getting exposure for various forms of art and more. However, it is still important to remain sensible and not completely emotionally invested in "friend" requests and to really understand what friendship is. Simply sending or accepting a request on a social media network does not achieve friendship. Personal value and worth is not directly proportional to the number of people we accumulate on various lists. I wonder what would have happened if I added this woman? Would she have spoken to me? (Many people send requests and never utter a word after approval.) Was it even about the word "friend" or would she feel relieved to have increased her friend list total by 1 more?

Related Blog Posts: the constitution of the united users of facebook, the secret to female friendships, facebook might be a sandbox, facebook might be a bar

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